Timing a rumor

Once again, the break-up rumor is just another tale. Congratulations to the folks who cooked up the story. This one really broke through, sprouted wings, and flew.

Break-up stories were staple material in the early Brangelina days and made gobs of money each time they got printed. Over the years, they’ve lost their steam. It’s a work of art to bring that story up from the dead and make it fly again. I say timing is the key.

I think interest in Brangelina peaked when the twins were born. After that, the public continued to be saturated with them and everyone got sick of it. I noticed the narrative on their lives really dropped off when public eyeballs focused in on Michael Jackson’s death. Since then, Brad and Angelina have never regained focal point attention. Their relationship is so stable and normal. There’s been nothing much to write about and I bet Brad and Angelina like it that way (... unless I’m wrong and they really were trying to drum up attention with their McDonalds drive-thru outings).

So, before posting another break-up story, you have to wait long enough for people to be willing to revisit the Brad and Angelina narrative. Of course, your story needs to be half believable as well. Then, you have to wait for the perfect time. You couldn’t have done it early last week. Everyone was looking at Haiti. You can’t wait too long because all eyes will be on the Winter Olympics. Now is a great time to publish the lie! The only thing going on are the American football playoffs and that’s not the demographics I’m shooting at. So, you throw your tale out into the pool of constant information circling the globe and hope for the best. Hurray! This one worked and now you get to cash in the money from it. Done deal.

Listen, Brad and Angelina are not Jon and Kate. So, don’t cry Dooce. They’re fine, they’re fine.

They will NEVER separate … Angelina spontaneously murdering Brad due to stress from raising such a large clan of little ones … that one, we’ll have to wait and see.

All is Well

I think the Ian Halperin book hype has died down with the arrival of the new year. So far, no stress fractures have been showing. In fact, everything looks great. The happy couple has been seen twice lately in New York City out on a dinner date and out with the kids to see Mary Poppins on Broadway. Sorry, Mr. Halperin, I don’t think anyone is buying your story anymore. The Jolie-Pitt clan has been back in the Big Apple so Angelina could film some more scenes for Salt which will be coming out this summer.

So, what’s up with Brad’s scraggly beard? Well, he’s getting ready for a new role playing famous British explorer Colonel Percy Harrison Fawcett. The film will be based upon last year’s book, The Lost City of Z: A Tale of Deadly Obsession in the Amazon … I bet the twins just love yanking on that thing.

brad-beard

The net is a buzz about “investigative journalist” Ian Halperin’s new book Brangelina: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (aka Brangelina Exposed) This juicy tell all book is set for release on December 1st … just in time for Christmas.

I think we should do some “investigative journalism” on Ian Halperin.

According to Wikipedia:
Ian Halperin is a Canadian investigative journalist and writer from Montreal, Quebec, whose 2009 book, Unmasked: The Final Years of Michael Jackson, went to number one on the New York Times bestseller list on July 24, 2009. He is the author or coauthor of nine books, including Celine Dion: Behind the Fairytale, Fire and Rain: The James Taylor Story and Hollywood Undercover. He coauthored Who Killed Kurt Cobain? and Love and Death: The Murder of Kurt Cobain with Max Wallace. Ian has contributed to 60 Minutes II and is a regular correspondent for Court TV.

Wow. Impressive credentials! I can’t wait to see how he nails Brad and Angelina next month. Let’s go over to Amazon and find out more about that Michael Jackson New York Times bestseller of his. Currently, Ian’s book has 98 one star ratings out of 168 reviews. Ouch! Well over 50% think his Jackson book is pure garbage.

Here’s a sample from 2 of the Amazon reviews on Ian’s Michael Jackson book.
One:
Having followed Ian’s other explosive celebrity scoops and books over the past several years I sort of knew what to expect with this one. Ian is the one who exclusively revealed on his blog that Angelina Jolie has sex daily with men, women, dogs, plants, and suggestively even her own children. He claims that Brad Pitt impregnated a mysterious Sudanese model who then traveled to Cannes this year to confront him, but then never said another word about it. He claimed multiple times that David Carradine was murdered, when in fact the forensic experts confirmed that Carradine died of accidental erotic asphyxiation. One of his biggest things is to “out” celebrities and in his mind most all of Hollywood is gay. Unfortunately, none of Ian’s exclusives have ever been substantiated by any factual evidence, and most read more like fabricated tales than concrete accounts.

Late last year Ian first alleged (as he does in his book) that Michael Jackson was suffering from a potpourri of deadly diseases including but not limited to Alpha-1 Antitrypsin Deficiency, chronic gastrointestinal bleeding, severe emphysema, 95% blind in his left eye, near mute, lung and liver diseases and in dire need of a transplant, serious back and leg pain, virtually bedridden and unable to get out, amongst other outlandish illnesses which seemed to grow each week. After these claims were roundly denied by Michael Jackson, Ian aggressively promised to bring out medical records and evidence to support these claims, he never did so but instead challenged Michael to take a medical exam to prove he didn’t have such illnesses. In fact, a mandatory five hour medical exam was conducted several months ago as required by the insurance carriers of the concert series in London (which Ian never mentioned until the day Michael made the announcement himself). The certified doctors responsible for this 50-point exam, including one from New York, confirmed that other than a slight hay fever (cold) he was in great health and the only other illnesses he had was his well known skin condition Vitiligo and Lupus. After Michael Jackson passed away, forensic experts and those conducting the autopsy again made note that he did NOT die due to natural causes or lingering illnesses and that we’d have to wait for a toxicology report. It is suspected that a single anesthetic was administered by an inexperienced doctor which led to his shocking death, not all of the reasons Ian has proclaimed.

Two:
Celebrity biographers are an interesting breed. It’s important to keep questioning their motives as you read along. Some do it for wealth, some do it for fame, some do it to glorify or defame their subject. Very rarely do you find someone committing their life’s work to the raw truth in these type of profiles. Not when sensationalism sells. Halperin’s latest work should be considered professional fan fiction.

Bingo. Mr. Halperin dishes lies for the money and December is going to be a cash cow for him. Tabloid work in book form is Mr. Halperin’s specialty. So, all you Brangelina haters out there, enjoy your Brangelina fiction present this Christmas.

Here’s a pic from Friday of a twins outing to the Licky Licious Ice Cream Shop in Amman Jordan.

They are now almost 15 months old, big enough to get into some trouble but small enough to easily control. It’s like the wind starting to pick up from the outer bands of a hurricane. The storm is coming. Let the fun begin!

twins

Here’s a pic from a recent Toys ‘R Us trip. Check out Shiloh’s outfit and the cute gap between her top teeth.

shiloh

It doesn’t matter how rich you are. If you have kids, you’ll be going through the golden arches drive thrus. In Hollywood yesterday, it was the Jolie-Pitts turn.

Brad And Angelina Ordering Food At A McDonald's Drive-Thru In Ho

Brad And Angelina Ordering Food At A McDonald's Drive-Thru In Ho

There a very important question that must be asked.
Are there still a few fries imbedded in the back seat cushions that will become a surprise snack next month for one of the children?

Not much going on in Brangelina land lately. So digging into the Youtube archives, I’ve found this old Japanese commercial that Brad Pitt did for Integra. I bet stars are much more careful these days in choosing to do foreign commercials. It’s so funny. I’m sure Brad had no clue back then that technology would one day deliver this commercial in front of American eyes. I wonder what Angelina thinks of his “co-star”.

twins-birthday

***** Happy 1st Birthday Knox and Vivienne ***** :-)

My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I need me eight soldiers. We’re gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. We’re gonna be doing one thing and one thing only… killing Nazis. Members of nationalist socialist party conquered Europe through murder, torture, intimation, and terror. And that’s exactly what we’re gonna do to them. We will be cruel to the Germans and through our cruelty they will know who we are. They will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, disfigured bodies their brothers we leave behind us and the Germans will not be able to help themselves from imagining the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, at our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And the Germans will be sicken by us, the Germans will talk about us and the Germans will fear us. Nazis ain’t got no humanity! They need to be destroyed. Each and every man under my command owns me one hundred Nazi scalps… and I want my scalps!

... opening in the 3rd week in August

First off, I haven’t posted anything here in over 2 months … shame on me. Like Brad and Angelina, I have many children that occupy my time and that makes maintaining this site a challenge. I’m thinking about putting a news feed at the top of the page that will always have the latest Brangelina headlines so the site will stay fresh. Be watching for that.

I know many things have happened to our star couple since I last posted. These include Cannes and endless breakup rumors. Once again, People Magazine, the best source over the years for true Brad and Angelina information, has put the brakes on the breakup rumors and other “stories”. Their latest issue debunks Pitt/Aniston meeting, new adoption plans, Cannes bickering, and hate between Angelina and Brad’s mom Jane.

So, once again, all is bliss. There is no need to diss.

Instead of chasing the latest empty rumors, it’s better to focus on the important issues in Brad and Angelina’s lives that are constantly there and will always be there. I’m talking about Brad and Angelina’s charity. The latest “juicy” news is they donated $1 million to St. John’s Hospital in Springfield, MO. To honor Brad’s mom, the hospital is matching the funds to expand their children’s cancer treatment unit and will rename it, The Jane Pitt Pediatric Cancer Center.

Here’s a run down of the main humanitarian projects that are dear to Brad and Angelina’s hearts:

The Jolie-Pitt Foundation ... currently the main hub for their work.

UNHCR (United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees) ... Angelina’s part

Make it Right Foundation
... Brad’s housing project to rebuild New Orleans Lower 9th Ward that was devastated by Hurricane Katrina.

Not On Our Watch
... This is one that Brad is a founder of along with some other A-list celebrities. Their mission is to “focus global attention and resources towards putting an end to mass atrocities around the world.”

Did I miss any? I’m sure I did. After all, there are so many of them.

Finally, this Saturday, June 20th is World Refuge Day. Just like last year, Angelina has a special message for us:

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