Brangelina: Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt Gossip

In the interest of implimenting a “Fairness Doctrine” similar to the one that almost became law last month in the United States, I give you the anti-Brangelina viewpoint (for this post only!) with this Brangelina Cheater Pie recipe. (Source: Doughmesstic blog)

I started with Pillsbury Crescent Rolls. The Cheaters. And yeah, even though it TASTES good, and it really is CRUST…it’s still cheating if you know you are supposed to be using your OWN CRUST even though the Crescents are just so easy. Just saying, Bradley. Read into that what you will.

I rolled all 6 of them out, 2 by 2, making each pair into a large rectangle. Then I cut them each into 2 squares. (Not saying Brad and Angie are Square. Not saying that.) So I had 6. Six little crusties. Like 6 little JoPitts.

After pressing each crust into a regular sized muffin tin (with plenty of extra dough hanging out on top – get it? Extra Dough?) I filled the bottoms with a little over a tablespoon each of Milk Chocolate Chips (this represents Zahara), and Caramel Chips (for Pax and Maddox). Then I made a concoction of one brick of Cream Cheese (Shiloh, Knox and Vivi), an egg, and 1/2 cup of sugar. I beat this together with a splash of vanilla and 2 tablespoons of Nutella. I then divided it up and plopped some into each of the crusts.

After the filling was in, I pulled the tops of the crusts over each other, making little dumpling style numbers. Because those little Jolie Pitt kids are dumplings if nothing else. Have you seen Shiloh’s cute little cheeks? Or the twins? Super sweet. They can’t help who their parents are. I would have shown you a picture here, but I don’t think all 8 of them have ever been in the same place at once. I mean, I don’t think they even own a minivan, do they? Will 6 kids even fit in a minivan? Whatever. I digress.

So…Are they Pies? I don’t know. What they are is Rich. Like Mega Rich. Like Brangelina Rich. And these little guys don’t even know it. That should count for something.